


Christmas Cuppa

by charlotteschaos



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Coffee Enema, Enemas, M/M, Rating: NC17, Rimming, Squick, don't read unless you have a strong stomach, squick fic, strange ingestions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-04
Updated: 2004-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:13:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21674257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charlotteschaos/pseuds/charlotteschaos
Summary: Harry presents Draco with an unexpected Christmas gift. This is squick fic.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Kudos: 31





	Christmas Cuppa

**Author's Note:**

> Responds to both Christmas challenges on thelemontree and hp_squick This is either cheating, or I am really efficient. I haven't decided that.
> 
> Another note that this is squick fic. I didn't choose archive warnings because I'm not sure how to warn for this. Just, if in doubt, don't.

"How is this a Christmas gift?"

"Well, that's not all there is to it!"

"It had _better_ not be all there is," Draco warned irritably as he examined the strange plastic bottle with the weird straw.

"It's not. Now hand it to me."

"It's not just that it's... whatever this is..."

"It's coffee, Draco."

"Coffee?" he asked as he felt the sides of it and swirled it a bit. "Coffee? But it's... cold. And I don't even drink coffee, Harry. Let alone in... what the fuck is this?" he questioned as he flicked the bent plastic protrusion, causing it to weakly rotate.

"It's room temperature, yes. But it's not for _you_ to drink. Give it back," Harry said, holding his hand out impudently.

Draco huffed and his mouth gaped in incredulity. "Let me get this _straight,_ Harry because I don't want to miss a _syllable_ of this. For Christmas you bought me a cup of cold coffee, which I don't drink, but I'm not to drink anyways. Served it in a container I wouldn't use... and now you're asking to have it back? And this, I reiterate, is my _Christmas present._ "

"Yes. Give it back."

"Who's going to drink it then?"

"I am."

Nostrils flaring in absolute exasperation, Draco shoved it back into Harry's hand. "Fine."

"Thank you, Draco. Now, take off your clothes."

"So you want me naked while you drink my tepid Christmas coffee through a straw."

In his mirth, Harry had to press his lips together to keep from dissolving into giggles. Draco really had no clue. "I'm not drinking it out of this container. Now take off your clothes."

"Harry, look. I realize that your childhood being what it was you might not understand the concept of Christmas and giving. But I can assure you--

"Shut up and take off your clothes or we'll be well into the New Year before you strip in my presence again!" Harry snapped. This was an idle threat, but one that clearly Draco believed. For a moment the Slytherin simply sneered at Harry as if trying to measure out how seriously he should take this threat. Judging Harry's impassive face to be serious, Draco tetchily disrobed.

"Good boy, Draco. Now bend over the desk."

"Bend over the desk?" he asked as he contemptuously peered around the conveniently vacant classroom. " _My Christmas present_ is you fucking me while drinking _my cold Christmas coffee_? Look, I realize I must be hard to shop for, but it hurts my feelings that you didn't try at all, Harry."

Harry didn't argue. He just stood there, holding the plastic bottle with a stern look on his face that continued to say his threat of no sex still applied. Draco dropped his head back and made a quick appeal to the gods that went predictably unanswered. Without divine intervention to guide him, the naked Slytherin did the only thing he could do; he turned around and bent over the desk.

"Thank you," Harry said pleasantly as he stepped up behind Draco and then knelt down to his knees. The Gryffindor was prepared for resistance, but he'd wanted this to be a surprise. He was pretty sure that if he'd told Draco what he'd intended that he'd never even get this far.

Setting the bottle down, Harry affectionately nuzzled his face against Draco's cheeks. That, at least, was better as far as Draco was concerned. As he felt the cleft of his ass parted, he relaxed his torso down against the desk. Harry had never done this before, although it wasn't Draco's first time to receive this treatment. He reasoned that since he hadn't heard Harry's zipper come down, and since he was, in fact, kneeling behind him, that he was to be the recipient of a rim job. The flaxen-haired boy wasn't sure what the purpose of the coffee was. Perhaps Potter wasn't sure if he could keep awake?

All concerns about the tepid drink in the plastic bottle drifted away as Harry's languid tongue laved over Draco's wanton hole. Crossing his arms in front of him, Draco rested his forehead against his hands, groaning and whimpering at the sleek tongue that tasted the rim of his sphincter. "Mmm... Merlin, Harry, that's nice." That was more like it. Way more like it.

Abruptly, the tender tongue trailed off its taunting and Draco opened his eyes and stared at the black grain of the desk beneath him wonder where Harry went. There was still no zipper sound; maybe he was having some coffee? "Harry?"

Draco brows furrowed in confusion as he felt something non-organic being pushed inside of him. Harry had never been known to use toys before, but perhaps the true present was some manner of anal plug? Beads? Magic, vibrating- good lord what was that?

Eyes widening before he flipped his head up and then whirled to look back at Harry, Draco had no idea why he was suddenly feeling so uncomfortably... full. Something tepid and wet and-"YOU'RE PUMPING COFFEE INTO MY MY... MY... MY?!?" he screeched unable to vocalize where _coffee was going_.

"Don't make me silence you with my wand."

"I think you're going to HAVE to silence me with your wand if you don't explain RIGHT NOW what is going on!" Draco squalled.

With a patient insistence, Harry carried on squeezing the plastic container, pushing the hand-made organic coffee into the bewildered blonde's beleaguered orifice. "It's called a coffee enema, Draco."

"Enema?"

"Well, Muggles do it, mostly. It cleans you out on the inside. You put the fluid in and give it some time to clean you and then you let it back out. A coffee enema is supposed to be detoxifying. It will help your liver."

The internal pressure was mounting and one of the Slytherin's hands snaked down to massage his sore abdomen in an attempt to relieve the discomfort. His silver eyes glared furiously at Harry. "What? Muggle practice? Liver? I DON'T NEED TO BE DETOXIFIED! THIS FUCKING HURTS!"

Harry glared back at him and repeated two key words to Draco, "New Year."

Slamming his fist against the desk angrily, he narrowed his eyes but was left with only one thing to say, "Pfft." And with that out of the way, he whisked back around and pressed his flushed cheek against the cool of the table.

Harry was finished with the plastic enema bottle so he tenderly pulled it out of Draco and cast it carelessly aside. "Now normally you'd have to wait ten to twenty minutes-"

" _Twenty minutes_?" Draco cried out in a shrill tone.

"As I was saying, _normally_ you'd have to wait that long, but I'll still need you to hold onto it."

"Hold-"

" _New Years, Draco_."

"Holding," Draco whined against the desk. Then there it was again. His cheeks pulled apart and that delicate tongue taunting his opening. Didn't Harry know how hard it was to "hold it" when he was doing _that_? Malfoy had long since given in on being bottom, but he'd never known Harry to be a _sadist_. "Harry..."

Harry slipped his tongue into Draco's thickly puckered opening. His lips formed as much of a seal around it as he could manage and then he began to swallow. One hand moved around the astonished giftee and encircled his responding length. Draco had no idea how in the world Harry expected him to "hold on" while he was doing that. The cunning boy realized that if he did release the coffee, not only would he have a very unhappy and doused lover, that delicious tongue would stop... doing... _that_.

The golden boy was swallowing as fast as he could, but the soiled coffee overflowed the corners of his lips and dribbled down to pool in the hollows of his collarbones. But Christmas was the time of giving, and Harry was giving this present his all, messiness be damned. Flicking and delving his tongue into the tight passage, he sucked down the potently thickened fluid, licked the smooth inner walls of Draco and pumped feverishly at the luridly pink prick in his hand.

The hard-working brunet was glad that coffee was such a compelling taste that he wasn't made aware of what all else was coming down with it. The odd occasional chunk or seedy bit of something gushing over his tongue was on the cusp of making him gag, but instead he concentrated on what Draco must be feeling.

The sensations pouring through Draco were bordering on ecstasy. His swollen abdomen was starting to feel relief as the strain eased, and the remaining liquid was pressuring his pulsating prostate. Harry's hand thrumming his now furious erection was overwhelming him and he tried desperately not to rut into it lest he stop "holding it."

On top of that was the sucking and pulling and undulating tongue of none other than the bespectacled boy who lived behind him. The overwhelming physical sensations, coupled with the euphoria of the caffeine so enthusiastically flushing his system through his anal membranes tripped his nerves into super sensitivity threw Draco into a fervent orgasm.

Great globs of glistening white ooze spurted spectacularly against the dusty dark desk as Harry continued to lick and suck inside Draco. While normally at this point Draco would be drained and tired, due to the lasting effects of the caffeine he felt jittery and elated. He panted hard, fogging up the counter. The spent Slytherin attempted to come down as he watched the breath mark evaporate gradually before his abnormally widened eyes. "For the love of Merlin, Potter!"

Pulling his nose and misted glasses from Draco's backside, Harry grabbed a small towel he'd concealed in his robes and soaked up the excess coffee he'd failed to drink and then dabbed off Draco's quivering legs. "And _that_ is your Christmas present."  



End file.
